1. Sansa will become a strong woman who don’t need no man. Little Finger will continue to be creepy and untrustworthy and will eventually cause her downfall when he realizes she’s way too hot for him.
Headlines will read: “DRAMA AT THE VALE! Sansa Says: Girls With Asses Like Mine Don’t Talk To Guys With Faces Like Yours! Little Finger in Tears: I’ve HAD IT With This Family”
2. Stannis Baratheon will say “screw it” and finally throw in the towel.
Headlines will read: “Baratheon Says: Retired From This Bloody Nonsense. You Are All A** Holes. Just Leave Me Alone.”
3. Tommen Baratheon will set up a sexual assault crisis hotline as his first act as king.
Headlines will read: “I’m Sorry, All Of Our Counselors Are Busy: Please Send Another Raven Later.”
4. Jon Snow will get a new girlfriend despite the celibacy thing (because he is so totally rebounding right now).
Headlines will read: “Westeros’ Most Eligible Bachelor, Snow, is OFF THE MARKET! Winter Really IS Coming!”
5. Jamie Lannister will finally realize how crazy Cercei is.
Headlines will read: “’Everything Fine Here,’ Say The Lannisters.”
6. Arya Stark will find Bran Stark when her ship to Braavos takes a wrong turn and heads way north. They will become BFFs and probably will save the world.
Headlines will read: “History’s Favorite Dynamic Duos: McCartney and Lennon; Hall and Oates; Stark and Stark! Read About Our New Top Power Team!”
7. Margaery Tyrell will buy a practical dress.
Headlines will read: “Tyrell Says: ‘I didn’t even know you could buy bras in this universe!’”